Brave
by Red0313
Summary: This wasn't my life plan, Mulder. I wasn't supposed to be lonely or barren.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first shot at a AU story. No copy right intended. Set after season six-ish. Enjoy!

Last night I had cried myself to sleep. It was pathetic really, and I suppose I will look back on it and feel foolish. But, for right now, I am hurting. I am feeling completely selfish and envious.

Last night, Charlie called me. He called to tell me that Josie, his wife, was pregnant with their third child. Naturally, I feigned happiness. I was happy, but I was also torn. I was unbelievably jealous, and I hate myself for thinking this, but I felt they didn't deserve another baby. To be fair, they did deserve another baby. They are wonderful parents. Josie is a beautiful girl and an incredible house wife. But, the selfish Dana Scully felt jealous.

I wanted a baby. I deserved a baby. For as long as I can remember, I always wished that someone would love me and then we could start a family together. I didn't want a big family. I just wanted two children, however, one healthy baby would suffice. But I had neither. Nobody was in love with me, and I was barren. I'd never even been loved. Not really.

I cried, feeling completely sorry for myself. I cried for all my failed relationships. I cried because I was barren. I cried because I knew I deserved it all. I cried because I wanted more from life. I cried because I hated myself for being jealous. Eventually, all the crying put me to sleep.

I awoke the next day with anger. I was angry with myself for all of my juvenile thoughts. I wasn't being fair. I knew deep down my time would come. My time for love and a family would happen. But, it still hurt that I was in my thirties without a child or husband. All of my classmates were happily married with children. They were soccer moms, and I was a lonely FBI Agent.

I shook my head. I was more than an FBI Agent, and I knew it. I was a brilliant pathologist. I was a medical doctor. I was one of the top agents at the FBI. But for some reason, that wasn't enough for me.

But, I pulled myself together anyhow. I had showered, washing off the tears from last night. I did my make-up, paying extra attention to my puffy eyes. I drank two cups of coffee, and I even dressed differently. To me, looking put together made a difference. It made me feel confident and secure. It was my security blanket. On the outside, I was a strong, professional woman. But on the inside, I was a barren, young lady, crying for love and a child. But, with a strong exterior, nobody would second guess me.

I walked through the bull pen with my head held high and my perfect posture, the posture that made everyone believe I was intimidating. I wasn't. I put on the ice queen act, but in all reality, I was anything but the ice queen. Only Mulder knew that fact though. He always stood up for me. He let me keep my dignity and tough exterior, but made sure to soften the blow. Instead of Ice Queen, he told people I was ridged in a wonderful way. It was his way of keeping me from drowning in the sea of testosterone. No man took a weak woman seriously, except for Mulder.

I opened the office door, preparing to be bombarded. Mulder would pick up on my sadness in a millisecond. But, right now, I actually needed it.

"Hey, Scully, how's it going," he asked, not looking up.

"Fine. How are you, Mulder," I replied. Once I said the word fine, he jerked his head up.

Looking me in the eyes, he immediately knew. My floodgates opened and my eyes began to water. He was next to me in a second. Crossing his arms, preparing for my defensive blows, he asked me the million dollar question.

"What's wrong, Scully. And don't tell me you're fine, because I can see it in your eyes," he warned.

"Mulder, have you ever envied someone and then felt guilty about it," I started.

"Sometimes. I mean, everyone wants what they can't have. But, I try not to dwell too much. I am fairly happy. It could be worse. Why, what are you so envious about," he pressed.

I decided that being evasive wasn't going to do me any good. So, I went in for the kill and told him the truth.

"Charlie called me last night. He told me that Josie was pregnant again. It hurt, Mulder. I wanted to be happy, but all I could feel was jealousy. I sulked, and I feel like a terrible person. Am I a terrible person," I asked, hoping for the answer I so desperately needed to hear.

"Oh, Scully. You aren't a terrible person. It's okay to be jealous. It's natural, actually. Even I am kind of jealous," he said, smiling. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Mulder, I just want what I can't have. I want someone to love me and want to start a family with me. I want what both of my brothers have. This isn't the way that I had planed my life. I wasn't supposed to be lonely and barren. I am angry, Mulder."

"Scully, I am angry for you. I am angry for the injustice of it all. You deserve a million children. You deserve to be happy. I'd do anything for you to have children, but I can't," he admitted, and made my heart swell.

I pulled him into a hug and buried my face in his neck. I sobbed for a minute and then remembered where we were. Crying wasn't going to change anything, so I toughened up. I had Mulder, and he was like a child. He loved me, I knew it. For right now, he was enough for me. He was my best friend, and I needed him. I knew he'd be there for me, too. He'd make me feel better.

"So, what's our newest case, Mulder," I asked, looking at him. He looked saddened, and I knew it was a child related case. To be fair, he didn't know.

"A young girl's parents have mysteriously been killed, with no trace of evidence. There is no explanation. It doesn't seem like a natural death, and local PD are at a dead end. Right now, the girl is being held for questioning. She's four years old, and she is our key witness. But, she isn't talking," he filled me in.

"Well, let's get down to it, Mulder. I'd like to meet this little girl," I lied. I wasn't ready for this.

"Well, her name is Isabella Olive Krieder. She's four years old. Here's a picture of her," he held a photograph out.

I hesitantly grabbed it, waiting to make this personal. We both knew it was going to become personal, for both of us.

I examined it, and she was adorable. I fell in love with her immediately. She had long, curly black hair, with chocolate brown eyes. Her skin was, of course, olive. She had the perfect little nose, and the most incredible smile, with dimples. I could just imagine her little baby laugh. She was picture perfect. But, I knew it'd be a miracle to hear her laugh for a very long time. She was going to be scarred.

"She's beautiful, Mulder. When can we head out," I sounded excited.

"We head out first thing tomorrow morning. Colorado here we come."

I smiled to myself, knowing that this was going to be quite the adventure. Little did I know, my life was going to be turned upside down.

TBC

What do you guys think!?

RED


	2. Chapter 2

I picked Scully up from her apartment early this morning. She looked drained. I tried cracking a joke, but I got a strained smile. I know Charlie's news was hurting her deeply. But, she had already discussed it. She wasn't going to bring it up again. Now, she had to work through it herself. Honestly, I am not sure it's going to be all that easy. I have a terrible feeling she's going to break again.

Usually Scully bounces back quickly. She will show one second of weakness, then she will deal with it herself. Sometimes that is a great thing, but I also just wish she would lean on me. God knows I lean on her.

So, once we got on the plane and tucked into our tiny ass seats, it was no surprise when I felt her head hit my shoulder. I knew that this was just the beginning. Scully was going to be a vulnerable mess for a while. I had no problem with that. I can handle just about any kind of emotion Scully has. I love everything about her. But, I hate to see her go through it. She despises being vulnerable. It makes her feel foolish and weak. Try as I have, she won't believe me when I call nonsense. She's stronger than any woman I have ever met. But, she doesn't care what I think. She is her biggest critic.

I look down at her and hurt for her. I silently asked myself why her life has been like this. She hasn't ever had it easy. She's had so much taken from her. Will she ever be happy? Will she ever have kids, a dog, or a husband. What about that white picket fence she claims to hate, but I know she secretly wants? Will she ever have that? I wish she could. I would give anything for her to have those feminine fantasies that I know she possesses somewhere deep down.

I bend my head down and kiss her forehead gently. I rest my lips there for longer than necessary and she moves a bit. I panic, but she seems to have fallen back to sleep. Just then, a stewardess walks up.

"Would you like something to drink," she says in a peppy voice, also too loudly.

"No, thank-you," I try to be polite. I know she has just woken Scully.

I look over at her and she looks irritated. I give her my apologetic eyes.

"It's alright, Mulder. I woke up a bit ago," she says. I freeze. She must have felt my kiss.

"I'm going to try to get some more sleep. Wake me up before we land, please." With that, she puts her head back on my arm and falls back to sleep.

I look at her for a second, just sitting there in shock. She knew I kissed her, but she said nothing. Instead she cuddled back into me. This was not my Scully. This was a Scully who was crying out to be loved. I guiltily smiled. I could do that. I could love her and take care of her. Maybe this was our window of opportunity. This was it. We just had to get past this hell first, much like a test.

"Scully, we are about to land, wake-up," I gently nudged her. She hummed awake and I watched her eyelashes flutter while she tried to remember where she was. Once she figured out where she was, she looked up and smiled at me.

"Well, that didn't take too long. I fell a little better too. Are you ready for this case, Mulder. It sounds like it's going to be a hard one," she asks, trying to start a conversation.

"As long as you're here with me, I'll be just fine," I smiled at her. I don't know if sweet talking was going to get me my way, but I thought I'd give it a whirl.

"I know what you mean, Mulder," she replied quietly and with a smile. The first real smile of the day. I made a mental note to say more cheesy things. Apparently Vulnerable Scully liked that. I know Independent Scully hated that, but maybe the tide as changed.

After our plane landed, and we grabbed our luggage, we agreed to head to the police station immediately. We were both pretty excited to meet the little girl.

We called ahead, letting the sheriff know that we were on our way, to have the girl ready for us. He had agreed, and I saw how jittery Scully got. I looked away, trying not to let her see that I was on to her.

Scully was the first to be in the room with the little girl. I thought it might be better. Usually children respond to women before they will men. Plus, Scully was great with kids. She always got them to talk.

I looked at the social worker and she filled me in. "She hasn't spoken a word. So I am afraid you aren't going to get much out of her." I nodded my head, knowing better. Scully was going to get this girl to talk. Kids gravitate to her.

I walked in on a beautiful scene. Scully was sitting across from this adorable little girl, with her teddy bear. She was even more beautiful than her picture. Isabella looked as if she was in a trance. Scully was calm as ever, using her soft voice. A voice I rarely hear. It was her tender, mother voice. I only ever heard the discipline voice.

"Hi Isabella, my name is Dana. How are you doing today?" Scully tried, but the girl just stared at her.

"Isabella, can you tell me what happened? Did you see anything?" The girl still said nothing.

I thought I would try and help before Scully's feelings got hurt. I sat down next to Scully, shoulder to shoulder, much like a married couple would do. I can't explain it, but I think it triggered something for the little girl.

"My mommy and daddy call me Belle," she said, quietly. I had to strain to hear it.

"Belle. That's a beautiful name," I tried. "My name is Fox."

"Fox isn't a name," she looked at me in the eyes, using a Scully like tone.

"That's what I told my mom, but she disagreed. Maybe you can tell her for me," I tried again.

She looked at Scully and said nothing, but she reached her hand out and grabbed Scully's hair. Then she grabbed her necklace.

"My mommy had shinny red hair like yours. I like your necklace. It's pretty. My daddy always bought my mommy necklaces. Did Fox buy you that," she questioned.

I quickly realized what was happening. Belle was comparing us to her parents. We reminded her of her parents and that was why she was so at ease with us. This was going to be a problem.

"Yes. Fox did buy me this. He bought it for me for Christmas," Scully lied. I looked at her and she gave me the look that meant 'shut up and I will explain later.'

She didn't need to explain. I knew that Scully had caught on, too. She didn't want to mention anything about Belle's mom. Belle didn't want to talk about her parents death. We got her talking, and if we mentioned anything about the murder, she would clam up again.

"Well, it's pretty just like you. That must be why he bought it. Right, Fox," she looked at me. I looked at Scully and could tell she felt guilty for lying.

"Yes. Dana is very pretty. I should buy her more necklaces." The little girl smiled at me. This was good. She trusts us. Just a little bit more time, and she will tell us everything we need to know.

"Belle, Fox and I are going to step outside for a second. Will you be okay in here by yourself," Scully asked.

"Yeah. I am always by myself," the little girl looked down. I saw Scully's eyes water. She was dying inside.

Outside, Scully had the talk I knew she was going to give me. "Mulder, she is not staying here for another second. If we have to lie or pull a fast one, she is coming back to our motel with us. Do you understand me," she used her tough, FBI voice.

"I completely agree with you, Scully. We are the only one's she is going to trust. Probably for a long time, too. You do realize we remind her of her parents. She probably even thinks we are married," I pointed out.

"Mulder, we can fix that problem later. For right now, I want to get her out of here. This isn't where she belongs."

"Alright, Scully. I will go pull a fast one on the social worker, while you let Belle know we are taking her with us," I informed her with a smile.

"Go put all those years of lying and sneaking around to use," She said, and she reached out and grabbed my hand giving it a firm squeeze. As I looked into her eyes, I saw happiness. I could tell she had just made this personal and she was falling in love. At that moment, I made it personal too.

TBC

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

RED


	3. Chapter 3

After Mulder left, I went back into the room, startling Belle. "It's okay, it's just me," I said, allaying her fears. She smiled back at me.

"Dana, where did Fox go," she asked me.

"Fox went to go ask your social worker, Rose, if you could stay the night with us. Would you be okay with that," I gently asked. I was afraid she would say no.

"What would we do," Belle seemed intrigued.

"Well, we aren't much fun, but we are staying at a hotel with a swimming pool," I offered. I didn't know if our motel was going to have a swimming pool, but I hoped it did.

"I love swimming. Do you think that Fox will swim with us," she asked hopefully.

"I am sure that if you ask Fox very nicely, he will have no choice but to say yes."

"Okay, I will ask him when he gets back."

Just then, Mulder walked in the room. "Fox, will you swim with Dana and me?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," he said, wiggling his eyebrows at me. Damn him. Then he looked at me, "Scully, can we speak for a moment?"

We walked away from Belle, but stayed in the same room. I looked into Mulder's depths, begging him to bring me good news. "Mulder, please tell me that your charming personality hasn't failed us today," I teased.

"Scully," he feigned hurt, "my smolder still has a good thirty years!" I looked at him and smiled. He was right. There was no way that his charming personality would ever fail.

"I talked to Rose, and I think I made a good case. I told her that Belle has opened up to us, and it would be prudent for the little girl to spend some time with us. Maybe we could get her to open up and trust other people. She completely agreed, but only gave us a small window. So let's make the best of what little time we have," he said, squeezing my shoulder.

"Thank you, Mulder," I said, giving his hand a firm squeeze. It was one of our ways that we silently communicated. A simple touch of the hand, to us, was almost like making love. We had the gazes, the touching, and the communication down. No wonder we always were mistaken for a married couple. Most married couples were lucky to get half of what Mulder and I obtain.

"Alright, Bells, are you ready to get out of here," Mulder asks, giving her a sweet nickname.

"I was born ready, Foxy," she replies, giving Mulder his own nickname. This girl was way ahead of her age. I loved the new name for Mulder and silently asked myself how I never thought of it.

"Did you hear that, Scully," Mulder asks, shocked.

"I sure did, Foxy," I laugh. Mulder gives me a warning glare, playfully.

"Foxy, why do you call Dana, Scully," Belle asks. It was a good question too. I couldn't wait to hear Mulder's explanation.

"Well, Scully is her last name. And, so it's almost like a nickname. I don't even think about it any more," he tried. It was a good attempt.

"Oh, like my daddy calls mommy Ollie instead of Olive," she tried to understand.

"Yeah, something like that," Mulder agrees, sadly. He hurts for this little girl.

"Dana, can I call you Scully, too. I really like that name," she pleads with her puppy dog eyes. This little girl was a little Mulder. Her puppy dog eyes, snarky attitude, and tenderness, was Mulder all over again. How could I say no. Besides, the way she said my name, in her squeaky little voice, melted my heart.

"You can call me whatever you'd like, sweetheart," I allowed, in my tender voice.

She smiled at me and grabbed mine and Mulder's hand, making us swing her through the hallway, on our way out the door.

"Scully, I am hungry. Can we eat dinner before we swim," Belle asks me. I silently berated myself. I didn't even think about the little one's appetite. Who knows the last time she ate.

"Yeah, Scully. Can we go get hamburgers," Mulder used his kid like voice. Belle stood beside him and they both looked up at me. Damn. Well, maybe it was time to start living. A hamburger wouldn't kill me.

"If that is what you two want to eat, than let's go get some hamburgers," I relented.

They both looked at each other and smiled. These two were going to be the death of me. But, I loved to see Mulder bonding with a child. Those two clicked immediately and it made my heart swell. Belle was changing everything between Mulder and me within hours. I could tell things were just going to get more intense by the moment.

Once at the restaurant, the hostess sat us in a booth. Belle sat next to me, while Mulder sat across from us. When her little body, pressed against mine, I smiled inside. I threw an arm around her, pulling her in a little closer. She looked up and smiled, resting her head on my shoulder. I wondered how long it has been since this little girl had snuggled with someone.

The waitress came over and got our drink order. Belle tried ordering coke, but I put my foot down and she agreed that root beer was enough, if Foxy would have the same. Foxy melted, and he ordered a root beer. I, however, ordered an ice tea. I had to sneak some caffeine in me some how.

"Belle, what would you like to eat, honey," I asked. I wanted to get her all squared away before I figured out what I was going to eat.

"A hamburger, please," she said, looking at her teddy bear.

"What would you like for your side. It doesn't look like they have much. Do you like apple sauce," I questioned her.

"May I please have fries," she begged, sweetly. I wanted to put my foot down again, but then I was remind of what Mulder said. We only have little time with her, so how about we make the best of it. Besides, fries weren't going to hurt anything.

"Well, I don't see why not."

The waitress came back with out drinks, and we were ready to order. She wanted to take my order first, but I hadn't figured out my order yet, so I suggested Mulder go first.

"I will do a bacon burger with fries, no cheese, please," Mulder ordered.

"And what would you like, ma'am," the waitress asked.

"Well, this little lady," I said, resting a hand on top of Belle's head, "would love a kids burger, no cheese and a side of fries," I ordered for Belle first.

"And I will do a regular burger with cheddar cheese and a side salad, ranch dressing," I attempted a healthy meal. As healthy as I could get.

"Alright, thank you. Your food will be out shortly."

I looked over at Mulder and he was staring at me with a goofy smile. "What's so funny, Mulder."

"Nothing is funny, Scully. I just witnessed you as a mother. I never really saw you in mother mode before. It was refreshing. I like this side of you," he said. It made my heart tug. I was sad at first, remembering my loss. But, then I was happy when I realized Mulder pointed out my maternal instincts and thought they were legitimate. I always wondered what kind of mother I would be.

"Foxy, is Dana your best friend," Belle interrupted our beautiful moment. I guess kids do that.

"Of course, why would you ask me that," Mulder wondered.

"Because, you guys don't kiss like mom and dad, but you look at each other funny. You know, like they do in cartoons, only your eyes don't turn into hearts," she explains, so easily.

"Oh, well that is because I care about Scully a lot," he explained to her gently.

"Scully, do you care about Mulder too," she looked at me, hoping I said yes.

"More than anything," I replied, not looking at Mulder. I felt his eyes on me. I knew the little girl wanted us together. I knew she saw us at her parents, and if we didn't get along like they did, she might have a meltdown. She was at a fragile point, and I wasn't sure how to handle this situation. So, I just went with it.

When the food came, I had to look up at Mulder. I couldn't ignore his gaze any longer. I thought he was going to tease me, but instead, he smiled at me and winked. I knew he was going to bring it up later. It was something Mulder always did.

"Mom-I mean, Scully,-" she corrected herself, quickly apologizing. I looked at her, and her eyes grew wet.

"It's okay, sweet heart," I said, throwing my arm around her, pulling her into me. "What did you need," I tried to sidetrack her from this moment. We didn't need to have this discussion in public.

"Can you help me put ketchup on my burger," she looked at me, sadly.

I leaned down, whispering in her ear, "let's eat dinner, and then we can talk about your mommy and daddy, if you want."

She shook her head at me and dried her eyes. I reached over and cut her hamburger is half, putting ketchup on half on it. She threw some pickles on, and then we closed the burger. Within seconds, Belle had the tiny burger in her mouth, forgetting about her little slip. I looked at Mulder with sad eyes, realizing his eyes reflected mine. He reached across the table and grabbed my hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand. We were in for a long night.

"This is good. Those cooks must know what they are doing," Belle said. Mulder and I both laughed. I looked down at her, feeling my heart swell. I knew at that moment, I'd do anything to keep this girl away from shelters and foster parents. As far as I was concerned, she was going to be mine. Some way or another, and when I looked back at Mulder, I saw him staring at her the same way I had been.

TBC!

Let me know your thoughts. Since this is my first AU story, I wouldn't mind some suggestions. I've never done a child fic before.

RED


	4. Chapter 4

"Scully, I don't have my swim suit with me," Belle spoke up after polishing off her plate.

"That's okay, sweetie," I assured. "Mulder and I will just stop by a Wal-Mart and pick one up."

When the waitress dropped off the bill, Mulder threw his card down before I could say anything. I looked over at him with a grateful smile.

Mulder drove us to a Wal-mart and found a close parking spot. "Alright, girls. I will be waiting for you in the car," he said. I glared at him and Belle gave him the hurt puppy dog eyes.

"Geeze, I was only kidding," he said, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. He bent down and whispered in my ear, "why couldn't you give me the soulful, puppy dog eyes, like Belle," he wiggled his eyebrows. I blushed and swatted at his shoulder.

"Come on, Foxy. You have to help me find a swim suit," Belle squealed, opening her door.

"Slow down, we don't need you getting hit by a car," I warned, using my mom voice.

"Sorry," Mulder and Belle said, together. They gave me the sad eyes. Those two were dangerous together.

"Quit with the sad eyes, you two. You're going to wear them out," I scolded.

"We need to get you some extra clothes and a nightgown, too," I pointed out. Not that they heard me, they were to busy pushing and teasing each other.

"Don't worry, Scully. I heard you," Mulder says, reading my mind. I smile to myself, and then I do something even I was surprised by. I walked up and grabbed Mulder's hand. We walked in the store together, all three of us. And, I secretly hoped this moment would happen more times, for a very long time.

Once in the little girls aisle, we decided to divide and conquer. Mulder was going to pick out the pajamas, while we searched for a swim suit. There were tons, and Belle was having a hard time deciding. While she was looking at one, I heard Mulder approach us.

"Scully, I don't know why we separated," he frantically explains.

"To get it done faster, Mulder," I point out, obviously.

"I get that, but I can't do this without you. I know nothing about little girl clothes, or sizes, or anything. Let's just stick together. We work better, when we are together," he sweetly says. And he was right. We have always worked better together. It was foolish to send Mulder to find girl clothes. I wasn't thinking clearly.

"Okay, calm down. You're right. We're almost done here, then we will come help you," I put a hand on his arm, smiling. I was trying to contain my giggles, but I failed miserably.

"It's not funny, Scully," he glares.

"You should've seen your face," I say through a smile.

Before he could retort, Belle came over to us holding up a little mermaid swim suit. I check and it was even the right size. Perfect.

"It's beautiful, Bells. Now let's go get you some pj's," Mulder praises her.

"I don't need a nightgown. I can just sleep in a big shirt. Can I use one of your shirts, Scully. I always sleep in my mom's shirts," Belle looked at me. What was going to say, no? No.

"Of course, sweetheart. I have the perfect shirt for you," I say with a smile. She was melting my heart with every word she spoke. I wanted to take her home with me forever.

I looked up at Mulder and saw that he was looking down at me. He stared into my eyes for a moment, and I let him. I knew he was reading me. And, he read me like a book. He read every thought and feeling that I was thinking at that moment.

After shopping, we drove to a hotel with a swimming pool. It wasn't in the FBI's budget, but Mulder said he would take care of it. I didn't know how, but I knew that it was best not to ask questions. He was either going to lie on the expense reports, or he was going to pay for it himself. Either way, I didn't care.

"Alright, ladies, we are here," Mulder said very proudly. I looked over at him and gave him a flirty smile. He was being sweet, even knowing what I was up to.

That's right. I had fallen in love with this little girl. Mulder saw it in my eyes. And, I can only imagine what else he saw there. Did he see what I was going to do for this little girl? Because if he did, then that only meant he was going to be behind me 100 percent. Most guys would have ran knowing what I was up to. But not Mulder. He likes to dive head first into trouble.

"Okay, they only had one room," he said with a pale face. " Don't worry, two queen beds," he assured.

"That's okay, Mulder. It's probably for the best," I whispered the last part. Belle was used to seeing her parents together. She might find it extremely odd that Mulder wasn't going to be sharing a room with us. Also, being separated from him, would probably freak her out.

"Let's go get our swim suits on," I picked Belle up out of the car, carrying her with me.

"Scully, I can walk," she squealed.

"I know, but I want to hold you. Is that okay," I ask. She looked at me, and didn't say anything. She just rested her head on my shoulder and held me back. I closed my eyes, relishing the warmth of her body. I felt Mulder place his hand on my lower back and direct us to our room, carrying our luggage in his hands.

"Alright, you two can have the bathroom first," Mulder spoke up. I went over to my bag, which Mulder so kindly placed on the bed. I dug out my bathing suit and took Belle's out of the Wal-mart bag.

"Okay, sweet girl. Let's go get into our suits," I held out my hand. She took it, and we went into the bathroom together.

The bathroom was spacious, so there wasn't much awkwardness, which was good because I wasn't sure how she was going to react to a stranger seeing her naked.

Once I got mine on, I folded my clothes and put them on the toilet seat. I decided to check on Belle, and found that she wasn't do so good.

"I'm sorry, Scully. I just can't get it tied," she whined.

"It's okay. Let me help you," I took the strings from her little hands and tied them together in a little bow, around her neck.

"All set. Let's let Mulder use the bathroom now," I grabbed us towels, covering myself up. I wasn't ready for Mulder to see me in my bathing suit. I knew he had seen me in less, but it was different circumstances. I was alive and well this time.

"Okay, Foxy, it's all yours," Belle ran out of the bathroom and jumped on the bed.

"I'm already ready," he smiled. I noticed he was in his swim shorts. He looked pretty damn good too. I blushed and he caught me.

"Hey, Scully. Can you throw me a towel."

I throw one of the towels I brought from the bathroom at his face. He pursed his lips together and smugly shook his head. Two could play that game.

"Love the suit, Bells," Mulder complimented her.

"If you think I look cute, you should see Scully's swim suit. She looks pretty," Belle said, embarrassing me.

"Can't wait," he winked over at me. I squirmed under his gaze. What was I going to do with these two? I found myself asking that question at least three times today. But you know what, I haven't felt this whole and content since I was a child.

TBC

RED


	5. Chapter 5

As the three of us headed to the indoor pool, I contemplated how I was to ever make Belle understand the death of her parents. How could you make a tiny human being understand something so devastating. There was no way to sugar coat it. Her parents were dead. They were murdered. It wasn't an accident, and she saw the whole thing. How was I to explain that to her. How could I tell her that she'd never see them again, without breaking her little heart? There was no way, and I knew it.

"Scully, can you teach me how to swim," Belle asked me. She seemed to have gotten past the dinner ordeal. How close was this little kid with her parents?

"Well, I can certainly try. I can't make any promises, though," I warned. I was never a good swimmer myself. I wasn't so sure I could teach a child. I wasn't sure my patience would last either.

When we arrived at the pool, Mulder was the first one into the pool, making a huge splash with a cannon ball. He was such a child. But, Belle clapped and giggled, which is the only thing that got him off the hook from splashing me in the face.

"Bells, jump in and I will catch you," Mulder suggested.

"I can't swim, Fox," she whined.

"I'll catch you. I promise. Scully will jump in right behind you."

"Okay, but please don't let me drown," she said so innocently. I smiled. Mulder wouldn't ever let anything happen to this little girl.

She looked back at me, unsure. I gave her a reassuring smile , shooing her, and she turned around. Without another thought, she jumped. Her head sunk under the water for a millisecond and Mulder scooped her up, throwing her in the air.

"Scully, I did it," she squealed.

"I know. I saw. That was a beautiful jump," I praised her. She smiled back at me.

"Scully, drop your towel and jump in. If you want me to, I will catch you too," he teased me.

"That won't be necessary, Agent Mulder," I shot back, kidding.

I took in a deep breath, ready to drop my towel. I threw my towel on the chair, then faced Mulder and Belle.

"Wow, that is a beautiful swim suit, Belle. You weren't kidding," Mulder secretly flirted. Belle didn't catch his innuendo, but I sure did.

"Get out of my way, Mulder. I am going to dive in," I shooed him.

The one thing I was good at as a child was a swan dive. I had watched my best friend do it once, and I had made her teach me. I soon mastered it. I was never a fan of a cannon ball. I dove in and touched the bottom, immediately relaxing. Pushing off the bottom, I popped up to the top, seeing Belle and Mulder smiling.

"Scully, that was awesome! Someday I want to dive like you," she cheered for me. "Will you teach me how to swim now."

"Alright. So basically, you are just going to kick and grab the water. Keep your head up and go. Mulder will hold on to your stomach," I tried to explain. Who knows if I had gotten through to her.

"Don't let me go, Fox," she looked back at him with those brown eyes.

"I'll never let you go," he promised. My heart melted.

"Okay, swim to me, pretty girl," I encouraged.

She started kick and grabbing at the water, just as I had instructed. At first, she kept looking back at Mulder, but soon realized it was an impossible to do both.

"Scully, I am doing it. I can swim," she screamed. She made her way over to me and I snatched her up.

"Yes, you did. You are a quick little learner," I praised her.

She paused for a second, looking at me in the eyes. I knew this was it. She just learned something knew, and he parents were no longer around to make them proud. She had nobody to share this accomplishment with.

"My mom had blue eyes," she said, monotone like. I knew she had more to say, so I remained quiet.

"My mommy and daddy aren't coming home, are they," she asked. I shook my head.

"Okay," she said. She had tears welling up in her eyes.

"Belle, do you know who hurt your mommy and daddy," I had to ask. This was the moment. I hated myself for interrogating her, but I had no choice.

"Well, I don't know him. But, I heard them talking," she started. "He was mad at my daddy, because he didn't have any more pills. You know, the ones that take the pain away. Mom always told me they were adult vitamins. But my daddy didn't have any more. So he shot him. I was hiding behind the couch. I don't think he saw me. But, he saw my mommy come back from the store. So, he shot her. Then he left," she explained.

"Okay. That helps us, Bells," Mulder cut in. I couldn't speak. Her parents were dealing pills. That's why they died. They left this beautiful, little girl behind, because they had to deal drugs. It wasn't fair. I couldn't grasp the concept. Now this little girl suffered from her parents selfishness and addiction.

"Scully, where will I go," she asked me.

"Um, I don't know. But, I don't want you to worry about that. You will be safe. Nothing is going to happen to you," I assured. She looked up at me with saddened eyes.

"I don't think I want to swim anymore. Can we go back to the room," she asked. She was defeated. She knew. She knew nothing was ever going to be the same again.

"Yeah, let's go back. We can watch a movie," I tried to cheer her up, but failed.

We walked over to the stairs, and I handed her off to Mulder. She clung on to him for dear life and I threw a towel around them. Grabbing my own towel, I looked at Mulder with a broken heart, which he picked up on immediately. He gave me a frown, and we silently agreed that we would talk about it once she fell asleep.

Once in our room, I went through my bag to find Belle a sleep shirt. I settled on the top of my silk nightgown and hoped that it would do.

"Alright, how about a bubble bath and then we can get your pajamas on," I asked. She cheered up a little at the offer.

"I love bubble baths," she smiled.

"Do you need the bathroom first, Mulder," I looked over at him. He smiled at me, clearly watching me in awe again.

"No. You ladies go do your primping. I will be out here being a man," he joked.

"Gross," Belle shot back, then stomped into the bathroom. I looked at Mulder, smiled and shrugged. He smiled back and snatched the remote. Grabbing my vanilla bubble bath, I realized I gave Belle my only pajamas. That only meant one thing.

"Mulder, I hate to ask you this, but can I borrow a sleep shirt. I gave Belle my only nightgown, and I only brought blouses," I looked embarrassed, I knew it. Usually I came prepared, but I had packed last minute and forgot half my things.

"Of course, Scully," he smiled, walking over to his bag, grabbing a grey t-shirt. He threw it over my shoulder and I smiled with a deep blush. Before I made an even bigger idiot of myself, I marched into the bathroom.

"Okay. Why don't you get undressed and I will get your bath water going," I suggested lightly.

By the time I had the bubbles and water in, Belle was undressed and ready to hop in.

"Scully, will you stay in here with me. I don't like to be alone in the bath tub," she asked me.

"Yeah, I can do that."

While Belle was playing with her bubbles, I began dressing myself in Mulder's t-shirt. It was very large on me, which meant that it covered everything. It was long enough to where pants were unnecessary. I washed my face and brushed out my hair, noticing that it was already starting to curl. I sighed but shrugged it off. It was pointless to fix it.

"Are you ready to wash your hair, Bells," I asked. She nodded her head and I reached for my personal shampoo. Pouring a little bit in my hand, I gently massaged the shampoo in her scalp. She closed her eyes and dramatically relaxed. I wondered if anyone had ever taken care of her like this. Did her mom do this for her? Now that I knew they were drug dealers, I wondered how Belle's home life was.

"Tilt your head back so we can rinse it out," I ordered, gently. Rinsing it out, I then put the conditioner in, scrubbing that in as well. I took my time, humming along to her.

"Sing something, Scully," she begged.

"Sweetheart, you don't want me to sing," I warned.

"Please, Scully," she whined.

So, I did. I sang the same song I sang to Mulder in the forest. I scrubbed her hair, sitting on my knees and sang Jerimiah was a Bullfrog. I knew Mulder could hear me through the wall, and I would undoubtedly get crap. But, the smile on her face was worth it.

"Alright, time to rinse. Tilt your head again," I said while she obeyed. I looked behind me, and noticed there weren't any towels.

"Hold on. We left our towels out with Mulder. Let me go grab them. I will be right back."

I opened the door and saw Mulder sprawled out across the bed, without the television on. No doubt in my mind, was he listening to Belle and me.

"We left our towels out here," I informed. Though, he probably already knew.

"I know. You're doing a great job with her, Scully," he smiled, which I returned.

Before I could burst out in tears, I retreated back to the bathroom. I needed to occupy myself. Hearing Mulder say those things, reminded me of the infertility. It reminded me that I would be a great mother, with no opportunity to prove it.

"What's wrong, Scully. You look sad," Belle broke my daydream.

"No. I'm not sad. I am just tired. Are you ready to get out. You're getting wrinkly," I teased her.

She stood up, stepping out of the water, and I wrapped the towel around her. I began to pat her dry. She stood there, and I was unsure of what she was thinking. She looked scared. I hoped I hadn't frightened her by touching her.

"What's wrong, sweetheart," I asked.

"I was just thinking," she started. "You're really nice. My mommy never does this stuff for me," I sighed with relief. How could someone make a four year old take care of herself like this?

"Well, it's no problem. I like to take care of you," I told her.

"Can you always take care of me," she asked the question I knew she was thinking all night.

"Belle, I can't make that promise. I can't promise you anything. But, I will tell you that I want to be the one that takes care of you," I soothed her.

"What about Foxy," she asked.

"Well, I guess I can take care of him too," I tickled her. She giggled and the subjected was dropped, for now.

"Alright, let's put this top on you." I slid her arms through the giant sleeves and buttoned the shirt up. It was incredibly large on her. She was swimming in it, much like I was with Mulder's shirt.

"Yay, this shirt is so soft. I like it," she rubbed her arms, amazed at the silkiness.

I picked her up and opened the door. Mulder turned when he saw us and gave me a knowing smile. We had so much to talk about once she was asleep. I was almost nervous. I wished I could just avoid the whole subject.

"I am so tired," Belle dramatically said.

"Swimming will do that to you," Mulder let her know. She walked over to Mulder and hugged him. "Good night, Foxy."

"Scully, can you cuddle with me," she asked through a yawn.

"I'd love to!"

I walked over to mine and Belle's bed, pulling the covers back. She snuggled her way into the sheets. I lay down on my back, letting her snuggle up to me. She rested her head on my chest and wrapped her legs around mine, with one arm around waist. I threw my arms around her middle and pulled her in tight.

"Good night, Scully," she slurred, already on her way out.

"Good night, Bells."


	6. Chapter 6

Alright. Sorry for the wait. This chapter is just a quick one. It's more of a filler for the long chapter ahead. However, I hope you enjoy! No copy right intended. Please leave a review. Reviews make an author work harder and provide a challenge. We strive to make the next chapter ten times better than the previous one. Am I right?

"I think she's asleep, Scully," I spoke softly. Bells fell asleep quickly, no doubt worn out from all the stress and swimming.

"I know she is, Mulder. I just need a few more minutes with her, please," she silently begged me. I'd do anything to grant Scully that wish. I knew she needed to hold Belle just as much as Belle needed to snuggle up to her.

Both Belle and Scully were going through withdrawals, each from a different thing. But, it hurt both of their hearts.

Scully was clearly suffering from her infertility and Belle was mourning her parents death. They needed each other, and if a small cuddle session could appease Scully for a bit, than so be it.

I didn't say anything. I just sat there and watched. I watched Scully close her eyes and soak up the moment. I watched her squeeze the child closer to her, whenever Belle would inch away. I watched Scully shed a tear or two, and sniffle. She would open her eyes, looking toward the ceiling, no doubt asking God why he chose this life for her. Eventually, I had to look away. My heart constricted in my chest, and I almost felt the tears well up in my eyes. That's about the time I saw Scully gently pull away from Belle.

"What are we going to do, Mulder," she finally speaks.

"That's a loaded question, Scully," I reply. Not really knowing what she meant.

"Where will she go? She's already developed an attachment with us. You heard her in the bathroom. She wants us, Mulder," she unwillingly admitted.

"Scully," I started.

"Mulder, I want her too. But, you know what happened the last time I tried to adopt. And plus, this case hasn't been solved. Where do we even start," she said in a rushed tone.

"Scully, let's just take one day at a time. First and foremost, Belle is talking again. She will bounce back. Secondly, we can solve this case. Don't lose sight of your talents, Scully. We're a team, and we can crack this case if we stick together," I said, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. She gave me a warm smile in return.

"Once we solve this case, we can see about adopting Belle. I think I won over her social worker's heart. I may have gave her too much smolder, or as I like to call it 'the Mulder'."

"Mulder," she replied giggling. At least I got a laugh at of her. "Thank you. I know I am having some unrealistic ideas right now. I have made this personal, and I am angry at myself for that. I lost sight of myself. I feel as if I have set myself up for failure. What if I don't get her," she cried.

"What if we do get her," I tried sounding positive. I made sure to add 'we' instead of 'you.'

"Well, we know a bit about her parents. They were drug dealers, Mulder. They were dealing pain killers and their baby knew it. How awful. What kind of parents were they? What life was Belle living?"

"My guess, Scully, not a good one. I heard some of what she was saying to you in the bathroom. She needs love, and I know you can give her that," I offered. I got a smile in return.

"I just don't see how this is an X-file, Mulder."

It was a good question too. How was this an X-file?

"Maybe it's not. Maybe it's just lack of intelligence from the local PD. Maybe it's fate, Scully?"

"Maybe," she commented, deep in thought.

"For now, I think it'd be prudent we get a good night sleep," I tried.

"I guess so. I am pretty tired. It's been a long day, and I am sure tomorrow isn't going to be any better. Sleep would do me good," she surprisingly agreed.

"Ill tuck you in," I offered, pulling the covers back.

"Mulder," she started.

"Yeah."

"If you want, you can crawl in and snuggle with her too. She really does make your heart feel better."

And so I did. I laid on my side, watching Scully throw her hand over Belle's waist again, on top of the covers. Once Scully was settled, I threw my arm over Belle, and rested my hand on Scully's blanket covered waist. I used my other hand as a pillow and gently ran my fingers through Scully's hair. And before I fell asleep, I thought to myself, I'd do anything to end every night, just like this. Belle really did make my heart feel better, as Scully so eloquently put it.

TBC

RED


	7. Chapter 7

Alright, this is another short chapter. Sorry! Work is super busy. I have no time. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

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When I woke up, I almost had forgotten where I was. I was so incredibly refreshed, I couldn't believe I was in a motel. I took in my surroundings, noticing Belle snoring with her little body still tucked firmly into my side. Mulder was on his stomach but still managed an arm around Belle and me. It was such a beautiful moment, I didn't want it to ever end. But, I knew it had to end.

Today we were taking Belle back to her social worker. I had already made my mind up. I was going to try and adopt this little girl. I couldn't imagine her going anywhere else. I didn't want to. I imagined raising her with Mulder, in our weird little ways. I'd take her to school, in her little dresses. She'd wake me up every morning before my alarm clock, ready to begin our days. I'd attempt a hairstyle for her, which she would take out anyway. At random moments, I would catch her staring, and she would tell me how much she loves me. I would never stop holding her baby hand. That's right, I had her future already planned out, and it made me sick to my stomach.

My phone broke me from my daydream, and unfortunately woke Belle and Mulder.

"Scully," I sit up, saying into the phone.

"Agent Scully, this is Rose. I think you and Agent Mulder need to bring Belle back as soon as possible. Something has come up," she informed me, and it didn't sound good.

"Okay, we will be right there," I said, regretfully. I was worried sick.

"What is it, Scully. You're wearing my panic face," he tried teasing, but I couldn't even fake a smile.

"Mulder, that was Rose. She wants to see us immediately," I gave him a sad face. He reached over and squeezed my hand, trying to allay my fears. I looked into his depths, and I tried my best to relax. With Mulder by my side, I could go through any kind of pain. He may not be able to fix it, but he sure does soften the blow.

"Belle, let's get you up and get dressed. We need to hit the road," I ushered her sweetly.

"Scully, are you taking me back," she asked me. What was I supposed to say? I couldn't lie. So, I beat around the bush.

"We are going to go speak with Rose. She has something to tell us," I stretched the truth. I knew what she was going to tell us wasn't the news I wanted to hear. I mentally prepared myself. I wasn't going to cry. I couldn't cry in front of Belle or Mulder.

We let Mulder use the bathroom first, then Belle and I went in to get ready. Just as we were about to finish, I heard a knock on the door.

"Hey, ladies. Do you know of anyone who might want a hot chocolate and a latte,"  
Mulder ask.

I swing open the door at the promise of a cup of coffee and shoot Mulder a smile.

"Thank you, Mulder. I was just thinking how nice a cup of coffee would be right now."

"Oh, the coffee is for Belle. I got you the hot chocolate," he winked, grabbing the hot chocolate from the nightstand.

"Here you go, Bells. I hope you like hot chocolate," he smiled at her.

"I do," she squealed. "Thank you, Foxy!"

After locking up our room, we headed off to see Rose. My stomach was turning so badly, I didn't even finish my coffee.

Walking in, I saw Belle's social worker sitting with a woman. She was a little taller than me, blonde hair, green eyes, and she looked to be about six months pregnant. Who was she?

"Agent Scully, Agent Mulder, this is Sasha Brown. She is Isabella's Godmother. She will be taking Isabella home," she told me. I almost fainted. How could this be happening to me? Why was this happening to me? I know I paled. I felt the tears well up in my eyes, and for a moment, I forgot to breathe. I came to when I heard Belle's tears.

"Hi, Isabella, my name is Sasha. You probably don't remember me, but I am your Godmother. I was your mommy's best friend," Sasha tried. Belle wasn't having any of it.

"I don't know you. I want Scully," she cried, reaching for my hand. I let her grab it, but Sasha grabbed her from me.

"Well, why don't you try living with me for a while. We can see how you like that," Sasha suggested.

Belle went silent. She had shut down again. Who knows how long it would be before she spoke this time. This was a disaster.

"Belle, sweetie, you must go with Sasha," I pulled out my card. "If you want to talk to me, you can call me any time. My number is right here on this card," I tried handing it to her. She crossed her arms and looked at the floor.

I handed the card to Sasha. "Please, if she needs to, have her call me any time. Or, if you need anything, please don't hesitate. I'll help in any way," I smiled through tears. Sasha gave me a surprised look, but tucked the card in her purse any how.

Before I could burst into tears, I gave one final look at Belle, my last chance for a child. Our eyes connected, and I lost it. Her eyes looked defeated, betrayed, and scared. The only person who picked up on my tears was Mulder. I made a quick bee-line for the door and ran to the car.

Ten minutes later, Mulder plopped down in the drivers seat. He didn't say anything. He just reached over and grabbed my hand. I didn't look at him at first, scared that he would notice the tears in my eyes. But, eventually, I knew that I needed him. I needed to lean on him.

"Scully, I am so sorry. I know what she meant to you," he began.

"Mulder, it's not fair. That woman is pregnant. She already has a child. What happens when she gives birth to this baby? Where will Belle's place be? I deserve a child, dammit. Everyone seems to be having one but me," I lost it. I was screaming at this point.

"I know, Dana. I feel the same way you do. I wanted Belle, too. I wanted to be there with you, on her first day of school. I wanted to be the good cop for once, while you're the bad cop. I wanted to be the one she ran to when she needed someone to check under the bed for monsters. I lost her too, Scully."

"Mulder, who are we kidding? We aren't a couple. We are FBI Agents. Two FBI Agents who follow things that go bump in the night. We are never home. I am in mortal danger at least twice a month, and you at least twice a week. We can't have a normal life, Mulder. It wouldn't be fair if we put her second. The X-files are our lives. That will never be able to change," I said, solemnly.

"Maybe it can," he spoke up.

"Not now, Mulder. Just take me back to the motel. I am exhausted," I admitted. I never admit defeat, but today, I felt like I had been beaten to death emotionally.

"Sounds good, partner," he shot me a smile that I couldn't resist. This was going to be a struggle to get past, but Mulder was here, and this time he was going through the same pain. We were going to get through this bump in the road together. But, somehow, I felt it wasn't over.

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Ok. How was it? Please leave reviews and even suggestions!

RED0313


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